You ain't impressin' me much

omg omg omg


some people are just, like I don't even know how to say this. Pathetic? i guess. I shouldn't really talk, for I'm not all the innocent either. But seriously. all they must really have nothing better to do & when they 'flaunt' their stuff. they ain't doing it very well XD
anyways. it was fun to laugh. boring as hell tho. maybe if it was someone else. and i was there with them helping them along :P well it might be different.

Oh well. There are all all kinds of people in the world. some have it. some don't.
And maybe next time he'll have something Impressive. XD

I want it so bad i shoot the sunshine into my viens

Home alone all week?
*gasp*


B-O-R-I-N-G

its nice not having steven bugging me. but like im soo bored. since im like not working. other ppl are and i can't go anywhere because i was to stupid to get my license when i turn 16.
blahhh. i need to do somthing. and i dont really want to read right now. i want somone kool to come over or go to the city or somthing. :(
i want natalie!!! lol

okay. I'm done rambling now.
i'll just crank up the volume.
get crative and whish natalie was here so we coudl hang out :P

Hate is a strong word. but i really really really really don't like you.

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

got it?

i absolutely hate you.


i wish you'd fall off the face of the earth or into a deep whole and never find a way out.
I only have a few more years to deal with your ugly face and literally childish ways
You won't have her there to protect you forever and don't ever think I'll be there for you
you dug your own hole.
and soon you'll be all alone
or 30 still living in your mama's basement living off of hot dogs.

I hate you

My Mask is Growing heavy and i have forgoten who is beneath

It seems as if sometimes we try soo hard to be something we aren't just to please other. We talk, dress, act and even try to think differently just to impress others. People who was think are our friends. We want to blend in so badly that we no longer know who we are. We've become some half hearted version of ourselves. The real us fighting hard against the make up, the clothes, the attitudes, but everything is so caked on that we can't break through; we just fall deeper and deeper. Losing our true selves.
Some people say they are different from others. Unique hair, Odd and unknown music makes up their play lists and their indescribable style. But are they really being that original. Yes, they may not be dressing like their friends or people around them. But are they being themselves? Or just what being different is supposed to look like.
You may appear differently from everyone else, but are you really all that different. Nothing is being more different then being yourself. Everyone is different, we all have our own little quirks. our own style, weather it be if you like green more then purple. its what inevitability sets us apart from everyone else. making you be your own person. not some fake doll some magazine says you should look like, or what the other kids expect from you.
If the you friends don't except you for who you are then they aren't your friends. Its that simple. it's hard to grasp at first, But Once you realize that you aren't being yourself anymore and stop the charade and they begin to complain or marginalize you. It will be obvious. It's hard at first. You feel like everything you've known is gone. but eventually you find better friends. people who actually like you for who YOU are. You'll be much more happier, nothing is a charade anymore.
Personally, I've been through all this and I've never been happier. I've found who my real friends are. That they don't care about my odd obsession with books and book characters. or that i enjoy anime. they support my writing instead of making fun of it. I enjoy all my time with them and i know that if i tell them something the whole world won't withing the next few minutes. i don't find myself wasting money on this that i don't need or clothes i won't ever wear again. They don't criticise me of talking to certain people. Over all, It's really worth it to take the risk and be Yourself. Find friends who like you for you. It may be hard at first. But you'll be happier in the long run. Life if only so long, we shouldn't waste our time on people who could care less about us to begin with.

"i'm like not even supposed to be german! i just randomly am!"

Nothing gold can stay. (from a poem. don't remember the author...)

Sadly, that couldn't be any truer.

On Sunday June 28Th we all had to say goodbye to a very special someone.

A person who is very very special to me. And all those miles between won't be able to break our friendship. She is my other half. and for the first time every i can actually say this about someone. i know that i can call her in the middle of the night pissed drunk and she wouldn't care. And its the same for me if she called. I will always be there for her. as well as her for me.

and in a little less then 3 months I will be finally able to see her again. :)

A few snap shot of the party.
we all had a good time, even though it would be the last time many of us would be seeing our friend.

Annie, mike, Andrea and Dom.

Me and Natalie. I miss her so much.

All the way across the ocean. but she will Never be forgotten. She means to much to all of us.

We all love you Natalie :)

Forever for one more night <3

i wish we could be together for ever. Besties for life :)

I Used to be Love Drunk, But Now i'm Hung Over?

I used to be love drunk, But now I'm hungover, Love is forever, Forever is over, We used to kiss all night, Now it's just a bar fight, So don't call me crazy, Say hello then goodbye

It would seem as that is the case. Sadly.
There just seems to be something not right.
I hate to say it too.
but he isn't the one i want to call when things aren't right. he isn't the one who makes me smile with just the thought of his name. He isn't the one that i want to introduce to all my friends. he isn't the one i want to spend all me free time with.
he should be. And i feel horrible not wanting him to be the one i go to.
But sometimes you just can't help it.
People grow apart.
And sometimes they are just temporary replacements. It sounds horrible.
but you don't notice it till it actually happens.
you think you really really like the person, but in reality the are only a temporary fix for something else. something someone created that you just can't forget about.
But maybe I'm wrong. and time can fix this. i can only hope, because i don't want to lose him. he may not be my everything.
but he still is something.

HIghschool never ends

Graduation.
It's a big deal to many and a day that couldn't have came faster for some
for me, well i didn't see this day as such a hugh excited and terrific day. I didnt want to graduate. I was finaly comfortable with the school and getting involved in different activities made it even more enjoyable and i really didnt want to say goodbye to some of my teachers.
One thing i was looking forward to was the end of highschool drama. Or what i thought would be the end of it. i was wrong tho. It seems as if Things have suddenly gotten worse. NOt only is one of my best friend being a total retard and is pushing every one away. SHe also broke up with her Boyfriend who is also One of my good friends. What ever their problems are is their Perogative and they can do what they wish with their lives; but i wish that people would just stop bugging me about it.
And, Enough with the stupid Rumours. argh. it's so freaking annoying. WHy the hell would Natalie sleep with her Best friend's Boyfriend. she ain't no WHore. ANd SHe deffinatly woudl never do that.
It Just pisses me off that poepl assume stuff like that. and then go and repeat it with out even knowing it for sure. Or that A certain person might actualy think its ture. Like seriously. come on.

SOme poeple just frustrate me so much. And i guess. Drama is just somthing that will always be there. and that we all will always have to deal with. but i just really people who get a life. do you seriosuly have nothing better to do?

it feels like summer, but you're far away from me when i need you here

I count down the days until we say goodbye

I wish there was a way that i could just stop time

forever, remember

i always knew the day would come. but it always seemed so far away.
Months. Weeks. Days.
Before i knew it, the day had arrived and i have no choice but to say goodbye.
It's soo hard.
I'm so used of always being able to call her anytime.
Spend my weekends with her.
taking stupid pictures and laughing at nothing.
i miss her so much
and i wish i had spent more time with her before she had to leave.
she'll be back in otober but idk what i will do all the days till then.
she's my other half. my partner in crime. and my very best friend.
Love you so much and i can't wait to see you again.