Line and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through

Why.
Its all comes down to that three letter word
why.
Why does everything have to be so hard. so complicated and so frustrating?
why does everything have to go against me.
Why can't it just be simple like it is for everyone else?
Why can't it, for just once, turn out good for me?
Why does it always have to smash down in my face?
And most defiantly why does it have to hurt so much.

It's almost like there is this law preventing me from ever being happy for longer then a week. When ever things seem to be going well. Boom. it has to come crashing down. For once id like to come out on top and actually be happy of what happened. Actually get the result i want and find that happy place and keep it.

It seems like ever since the beginning it has been a series of up and downs. big downs. Long downs which i can only get out through the help of someone who drops me down even lower. It's like some continuous cycle that no matter how hard i try to get out of i can't.

All i want to for everything to actually work out for once, to be able to feel the comfort of knowing someone will actually care if u disappeared forever.